Hello, dear humans,
This issue is a fun one. We answered a reader’s question! And it’s a great one — where we get to talk all about cat wangs!
Yes, cat wangs. Dongs, weiners, schlongs. Tools, pricks, doodles.
And if you have a burning question, you are always welcome to write in and ask. We love reader questions.
Now, onto the sausage party!
Dear Clowder Lady and Clowder,
I have an…interesting question. I just got a new cat, male, probably 7 years old (vet's best guess). He's a pretty average Tabby mix, and a rescue. Don't know much about his history, but he was definitely raised indoors.
He's super friendly.
Maybe too friendly?
I'm a little embarrassed to say it, but he gets erect when I pet him, especially his belly, or when he is playing. I've had male cats before, and never encountered this. Is it a medical problem? Am I doing something wrong…or too right?
-- Unwittingly Hot Mama
(I wrote back asking about whether the cat is fixed, if there's other cats in the house, and how he behaves when he gets "excited")
No, he's an only cat, at least for right now. The shelter I got him from said he was not neutered when he was surrendered, so they had him neutered a month before I adopted him. He tends to totally ignore his…boner when it happens. For right now, so do I.
-- UHM
Dear Unwittingly Hot Mama,
We humans are about as good at talking about cat sexuality as we are about our own, aren't we?
There's no reason to be embarrassed. Cats have genitals. They have hormones. They go through puberty. They have sex.
I know it can be hard to think about, because, well, we humans tend to (and there's no judgment here) infantilize our cat family: they're smaller than we are; freaking adorable; and we, thanks to our opposable thumbs, provide essential care for them, things they need to survive when they live indoors or partially indoors. Things they can't do for themselves.
But, truth is: unless a cat is a kitten, they aren't an infant. Once they hit a year old, for all intents and purposes, they are grown-ass people.
Commonly, when we adopt a cat, they are either young -- and so, we get them fixed (we hope) -- or, they are adults who have already been fixed, again, commonly when they are young. But when we adopt rescued or formerly feral/semi-feral cats, or cats whose background is unknown, frequently, they’ve not been fixed until they are well into adulthood. And for these cats, sometimes, being fixed as an adult does not squelch all the biological stuff around being a sexually mature adult.
For female cats, this not-squelching happens less frequently. Spaying female cats halts the estrus -- "heat" -- cycle. Period.
Or rather, no-more-periods. Har!
Seriously, though. Some female cats will retain some behaviors from their hormonal maturity. But these are usually around motherhood (being possessive of kittens they encounter or small toys, for example), as opposed to what we would define as “sexual.”
But cat dudes. Well. Things are a little more interesting.
When male cats get neutered, they either have their testes removed or the tubes that carry sperm are severed. Like a vasectomy in humans, this prevents cats from being able to transfer sperm via ejaculate.
It also lowers the levels of testosterone tremendously. In most, to near zero. In some, to still-not-a-lot-but-not-zero (they still have blood levels of hormone, but they are low).
In all cases, though, they still have their dongs. Neutering does not chop off their willies.
Now, even in non-neutered males, in most situations, we don’t actually see their dingles. Cats don't run around with their dicks flopping about. Their weiners are usually holstered inside a sack called a prepuce. When they do get erect, their dong pushes out from the prepuce, and looks like a small, wet, pink-to-red crayon tip.
If a male cat reaches puberty without being neutered, he will get the full wash of hormones that make him a man. Tiny barbs appear on the surface of his weiner (yes, barbs. Called "penile spines").
When they do get fixed as an adult, most of the time, those barbs disappear or grow much smaller within a month after surgery. They disappear or grow smaller because the cat is no longer getting the full dose of testosterone. The lack of testosterone reverses some of the drives and secondary sex characteristics of an intact male cat.
However, It's not always this simple.
Male cats fixed as adults still, sometimes, exhibit "sexual" behaviors. And the prevailing wisdom says the older the cat, the more "experienced" the cat, the longer these behaviors can last post surgery.
Sometimes, man cats neutered late in life will still enjoy humping things. They may still try and mount female cats. They can still act “macho”: be highly territorial, occasionally spray urine as a means of claiming territory. But seeing these behaviors is not very common, and they usually quit doing them as time passes.
But. Getting a boner during pleasurable experiences are one of the most common of these less common behaviors, and one that seems to stick around, even as time passes. But, in 99.9% of the time, this is a harmless biological response that has no meaning except that he is happy.
He's not getting a boner because he thinks you or what you're doing is sexy. He is having an automatic physical response to feeling good. He's not controlling it. You are not turning him on.
Repeat: you are not accidentally engaging in cat foreplay. It doesn't sound like he is then taking his erection and translating it into a call for sex: he is not mounting you. He is not mounting something else, or another cat. He is not spraying the walls. He is not howling.
He was a sexually mature cat who was neutered later in his life, and so, his body retains some of its adult responses.
So, you both ignore it. Great. Continue doing that.
Now, if he is also -- or develops into -- exhibiting behaviors specific to an unfixed male cat, such as the mounting, the howling, or the spraying, or he becomes more aggressive towards you or new cats that come later into the household, then you will want to have that chat with your vet. There are some rare tumors that develop on the adrenal gland that can, spontaneously, in adult dude cats, just start secreting testosterone…even though they have been fixed (you should take him to vet if you suspect, but a quick visual check of his schlong, next time it's out, can give you a clue: look to see if you can see those penile barbs along the surface. If you can, then he is probably getting testosterone again from somewhere!). Your vet can do a quick blood test to measure his hormone level.
There's also some spinal cord injuries, wicked bad urinary tract infections, and inflammatory diseases that can cause priapism (or an erection that won't quit), and cats may try humping, licking, mounting, etc., to try and relieve their discomfort/pain.
But otherwise, you should just know you have a happy, comfortable cat.
Thanks so much for writing in.
Note: I'm not a medical professional. As always, you know your cat best. Follow your common sense and consult with your veterinarian. If you need low-cost veterinary services, the Humane Society has some options, but you can always call 211 for your area (in the US) to find out about clinics near you.
Next issue, we’re looking at the yawn. Cat yawns mean more than just “Jeez, I slept 18 hours and am still exhausted.”
Until then,
The Clowder loves ya