Five issues that aren't issues

They're just the price of hot cat business.

Hi, humans,

It’s still early days, here at The Clowder Room, but to start us right, I wanted to dig in, first and foremost, with some important stuff cats want us to know: some of what they do isn’t meant to make us bananas. It’s literally them being what we love: a cat.

These things, these “issues,” are ones feline behaviorists and veterinarians are asked about, by concerned/vexed/exhausted cat humans, really frequently. The thing is that none of these issues are actually issues, most of the time. Most of the time, they are just a normal part of cat life (most of the time) -- things cats do because, well, they're cats. 

I don't know if it's because we live in a (still) dog-centered pet culture, and so, people expect that cats will act like slightly disinterested, self-cleaning dogs, or what, but there are behaviors that are simply deeply embedded in cat cognition and biology. We can't, and shouldn't, change them, or even try.

Now, not everyone should live with a cat. There are people who love the idea of cats, but aren't willing to pay the price of doing hot cat business. So, for the folks thinking of getting a cat, or for those of you who have a cat and get irritated at these following behaviors, you need to know that these five things seem like they are issues, but actually are (usually) totally normal. 

Vomiting

Cats barf. All cats barf. How much and how frequently depends on your cat. But if you don't like, or can be, at least, impartial to throw up, you, human, will be unhappy, and it is not your kitty's fault.

Now, there's normal yacking and the yacking that's cause for concern, and it's fairly easy to tell the difference.

Normal upchucking happens fairly quickly. Most cats will make horrible sounding noises first, sometimes drool a bit, hang their tongue out like a doof, but they'll puke (sometimes once, sometimes a few times) and walk away like nothing's happened.

Normal urp may contain: 

• fur: (the longer haired the cat, the more frequently they'll throw up their hairballs). This is fine. Normal. They clean themselves, they can't digest their hair. So, up it comes.If you want to minimize this, brush your cat more often. But, sorry, not sorry. Cats will vomit up hairballs. Period.

• grass or leaves: especially if you GIVE them cat grass (wheatgrass), if they spend time outdoors, or you have houseplants that look tasty (please keep philodendrons, monstera, jade plants, ivy, and hydrangea, among others, away from your cats -- they're poisonous to them). Cats will eat plants to HELP them barf, actually…not for fun, but to help dislodge hairballs and, if they've hunted, the leftover fur, feathers, and bones of their last snack.

• food: cats will scarf their food. Then they will barf. This barf will still be recognizable as food. There's a biological failsafe at work here -- if too much food enters a cat's stomach too quickly, there is an autonomic response to throw up. They can't help it. You can help them eat slower with a puzzle bowl, for instance, but sometimes, no matter what you do, they will eat too quickly and they will barf.

Not-normal vomit may include/look like: water; foamy; yellow or orange; with any blood or mucus. If you see any of these, or your cat is having trouble keeping down food/water (or acting different, lethargic, or hiding), then it is time to get them medical attention.

Singing the songs of their people in the night

Some cats are very vocal. Others, less so. But all cats are crepuscular -- more active at sunset and sunrise -- and slightly nocturnal. This is thousands of years of evolution at work here, selecting for wakefulness at the time when they had the best chance at being the hunter — not the hunted.

Now, we sleep at night, and we can scootch our cats' schedules slightly to align better with ours' (feeding them later, using a timed feeder, playing with them before bed, making sure they are fixed), but it's never going to be perfect. Your cat is going to wake up while you sleep, and they will want food, or to play, go outside, whatever. They don't have functional thumbs, so they can't take care of this themselves (if they could, oh, yes: they would). So, it is going to happen. Your cat/s will start "singing" (meowing, mewling, screaming) to get your attention. 

That's normal. It just is.

Now, an older cat who starts crying at night, or an obvious change in behavior in a cat of any age is cause for concern. See your vet. 

But otherwise, it is what it is. Buy earplugs. Get up and feed your cat. Breathe deep.

Scratching

This is instinct. It's hard-wired, y'all. This just has to be dealt with -- and not by getting cats declawed (which is the equivalent of hacking off your fingers at the first joint. Seriously. Cat claws are not like our nails. They are attached to the bone). 

Cats scratch to sharpen their claws. They scratch to stretch. They scratch because it feels good, because it relieves stress and anxiety, and to clear off the dead matrix of keratin that accumulates as the claws grow.

You can't train a cat to not scratch. You can guide them to scratching posts or corrugated scratch-friendly toys. You can discourage them from scratching fabric upholstery by covering it with tape (that feels icky to them) or cover furniture legs with foam, tape, plastic wrap, or foil. You can attempt to keep your cat away from precious antiques by lightly spraying it with natural citrus oils. Or, some people with very patient cats have success with silicon/plastic claw caps. But there's no guaranteed way to keep a cat from scratching.

Keep your cats' claws trimmed, reward them when they scratch appropriately. But really, as cat people, we can either have nice things or we can have cats.

I'd choose cats, every time.

Being picky

Some cats happily eat anything. 

I have, personally, never met those cats. 

Most cats are picky-ass eaters. They'll like a flavor/brand of food -- twice. But the third time? They'll look at you like you served them radioactive waste. 

Food too cold? Won't eat. 

Food too room-temperature? Won't eat. 

Food too smelly or not smelly enough? Won't eat. 

Yup. This is the actual reality of feeding a cat. 

Does it feel like they're spoiled? It sure does. Does it mean they are? No.

Remember, cats are wired to be hunters. They are not scavengers (unless they have to be). They are also obligate carnivores (as in, they only need to eat meat. No vegetarian cats). So, their fussy palates actually evolved to be this way.

If food has too much or too little odor, or it is the wrong temperature, it may be from a diseased source or spoiled, so they won't eat it. And their want for variety is how obligate carnivores in the wild ensure they are getting their nutrients (different animal sources = different vitamins, minerals, and protein sources). It's not that our cats don't trust us to feed them well; it is literally how their brains work.

Yes, yes. If they get hungry enough, they will eat whatever you give them. They will finish their bowl. But, when they don't, it's not because they're being obstinate. 

In addition to all this, as we know — cats are individuals, with their own tastes and preferences. Some love dry food and crunch, others love soupy, wet food. And this, of course, affects how enthusiastically they approach any food, as well.

Of course, any serious change in appetite signals something's wrong and they need care. But the day-to-day finickiness? That's not an issue. 

A pain in the ass. But not an issue.

Three times and it's the law

Cats are smart AF. They are very observant, even if it doesn't always seem so. They learn via a wide number of modalities, same as their humans. However, some of the strongest, deepest, quickest ways they learn is through conditioning. 

Never say cats are untrainable. We train them all the time, whether we know it or not, through conditioning. When a cat does something new, they observe how we react. 

We react with something they want = they will try again. 

We don't react = they will try again.

We react negatively = they may or may not try again.

If we react similarly next time (or, usually, next two times), then, to the cat, this becomes a rule. 

It doesn't take much for this to sink in, when it's something the cat wants to know (why it's a faster process versus when we are trying to get them to learn something for our benefit, like a trick). 

The opposite is also true: a cat will forever be put off something, with (almost) no convincing otherwise, if they do an action and something hurts or scares them, even if it's an accident.

So. Yeah. React a certain way, and you are training your cat, whether you realize it or not. The few times you reward them for a behavior means that is what they expect. They aren't trying to be difficult. You showed them that something was cool. They learned from watching you, mom/dad/parent.

Can you break those patterns? Sure! But that is its own article/s. Just know that the three times = forever is totally, completely normal. It may be an issue to you. But it's not actually an issue.

Cats are frustrating, irritating, magical, perfect little beings. Take the sweet with the inborn, breathe in acceptance, and, believe me, you and your cats will be much happier.

Aaaand just like these are some of the things cats do that seem like they should speak to a deeper issue — but are actually normal, healthy behaviors.

There are subtle, confusing things they do to tell us humans that something really is wrong. In the next issue, I’ll cover five issues that don’t seem like issues, but actually are.

Remember, you can write in to request a topic, or, if you are interested, I'm available to do meetings over Zoom to discuss your specific cat situations. I don't charge for these meetings (30 minutes each, an initial and follow up) because I'm still a student, but I can only do one set of meetings per month. Send me an email if you are interested.

Note: I'm not a medical professional. As always, you know your cat best. Follow your common sense and consult with your veterinarian. If you need low-cost veterinary services, the Humane Society has some options, but you can always call 211 for your area (in the US) to find out about clinics near you.

Thanks for reading,

The Purr Scout and her clowder of frustrating, irritating, magical, perfect little beings