Allow me to claw-ify

Why we can't have nice things: reader question

Hooman people readers!

Hello! This issue, we have a great reader question. It's a tough one, and I gave some tough love in it (I hope more love than tough). Let's dig (har!) in.

Dear Clowder Lady, and her adorable Clowder:

Hi. Can we talk about why.cats.scratch.everything? I mean, I love my cats, but they are the reason I can't have nice things.  I have bought them scratching posts, of all kinds, which they joyfully ignore in lieu of my sofa. This wouldn't be too much of an issue, but my partner is moving in with us next month, and wants to bring a bunch of their antique furniture. I would really love to prevent a CATastrophe before it starts.

Any tips? 

Thank you,

Long time reader, first time caller

Hello, LTRFTC,

Thanks for your great, and common, question. It goes nicely with my last special issue, on why not to declaw your cat -- scratching is the number one reason humans give when they ask for the declawing procedure, because they don't want their cat to ruin their precious stuff. And, while I, too, feel wistful when I think about all the grown-up furniture I'll never be able to have, I gotta tell you what I say to them, too (even though you aren't even mentioning the D word!). 

It's this: cats scratch. Period. It's hard-wired behavior. It's important. It may be inconvenient, but it is essential. In fact, a 2020 article in the journal of The International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants states that a cat's …"mental and physical health is impacted by their ability to express this normal and healthful behavior." 

Mental and physical health.

The ability to scratch is not something that we can take away without severely impacting the well-being of the cat.

There are some things you can try to make a particular piece of furniture less desirable to scratch on, but there is no guarantee. Cats, as you know, are stubborn beasties. 

You can try:

• Lightly spraying wooden furniture legs with citrus-based oils (lemon or orange are easy to find). These are smells cats tend to think are totally gross

• Wrap furniture legs in bubble wrap, tin foil, or painter's tape (or try one of the specialty "no-scratch" tapes for sale, which are really just regular cellophane tape with weaker adhesive). These are textures cats find unpleasant

• Place the valuable furniture outside heavy scratching zones. If you pay attention, you'll notice cats tend to scratch items in well-trafficked areas. This is because scratching also has a chemical "marking territory" component 

But, none of these tips, as I said, are foolproof. At all. They may work, though. It's a YMMV. Some cats are most easily discouraged, while others will claw through a lemon-scented, bubble wrap encased chair leg anyway.

But there are two other things you can try to help redirect the natural scratching instinct. These will both take some effort and time, and a whole lot of patience.

Make the scratching posts you have more scratch-able. Look at what your cats scratch on -- are they chair legs, which are vertical, for example? If so, vertical scratching posts, as opposed to flat or floor-based ones will have way more appeal (and do something to anchor or weight the scratching post firmly -- vertical scratching cats will pull or push on what they scratch, and the stability of a sofa or chair is way nicer for them then the tipsy, weeble-wobble base of the average scratching post).

Or, do they scratch horizontally (on carpets, the surface of a sofa, etc)? If so, I recommend even skipping the jinky floor things they sell at pet stores, especially the ones made of cardboard, and getting a small, rough-ish carpet they can scrunch and scratch to their claws' content. Not a throw rug, which won't stand up to abuse (and won't fit the bill, anyway), but an actual carpet-carpet (carpet stores frequently have remnants for free or cheap). 

Once you have a scratching "object" that is sturdy and meets their scratchy desires, you will need to spend some time redirecting their behavior from your furniture to the object. Gently pick up the cat when they scratch in the wrong place, and plop them on or near the scratch-yay object. Do this every time you catch them scratching in an undesirable place.

Never yell at the cat, clap your hands, or, heavens forbid, spray them with water. They won't understand this is a consequence for naughtiness (since they are just doing what comes naturally). Instead, they'll just build up resentment towards you.

Eventually, they will get the idea that they should try the scratch-approved thingie. When they do, and then afterwards, for as long as it takes* to completely redirect the behavior, reward them with a really "high-value" (read: delicious!) treat. 

*I'm being literal when I say as long as it takes. Cats are magnificently abhorrent to change, even change that ultimately benefits them. It's just reality. Cat reality. 

You can also read up on, take a course in, or employ a cat behaviorist to teach you about clicker training. This is a successful method that sort of follows what I just spelled out, with a few differences. The nice thing about clicker training is that you can use it to teach your cats all sorts of things, in addition.

So, my dear LTRFTC: you have some discussions to have with your partner and your cats. I'm not saying your sitch is hopeless. But I am saying that you may put your best effort in and your cat people may still shred your stuff. You can probably minimize the shred factor, and even (I'll burn a candle for you) may be able to successfully convince the cats to sink in elsewhere. But I want to be honest with you about accepting what you can't change: cats are wonderful, wondrous jerks who are magical, loving, and do not give two sh!ts about an heirloom divan.

I wish you all the best, and a peaceful, unshredded home.

Note: I'm not a medical professional. As always, you know your cat best. Follow your common sense and consult with your veterinarian. If you need low-cost veterinary services, the Humane Society has some options, but you can always call 211 for your area (in the US) to find out about clinics near you.

As always, we <3 reader questions! Have one? Write in to theclowderroom@substack.com and get in on the fun.

Love always,
TCR